27 January 2009

Grocery Store Adventures

After I left work and before I came home I was asked to stop by the local mammoth grocery store chain to pick up some cheese and possibly a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's, which I resisted - if they have had Yes Pe-can then I would have not been able to resist.  The assignment sounded easy enough but I am not to be trusted to go the grocery store.  Why?  As stated before - I have tendency to wonder around the aisles, I will pick up labels and thoroughly read them, I will strike up conversations with complete strangers about what they are having for dinner. On a rare occasion I can perform this duty quite well, but not this evening.

The trip started off well as soon as I entered the door I was hit by a wave of heat that quickly warmed me up.  Next, while in the frozen food section I overheard an elderly gentleman tell the stock boy "The Salisbury Steak, the one in the back there."  Instantly, I was able to taste the many frozen food dinners I had as a kid.  The steak, the gravy, the mouth burning mashed potatoes, the portion of corn, and for dessert: the chocolate cake.  

I found my way to the refrigerated section containing the packaged blocked mozzarella. I compared the different brands, looked at labels, squeezed, weighed with my hand, and decided on a local brand.  I thought this is great I can't believe coming here was so easy.  I then made a 90 degree turn and headed up the aisle towards the checkout counter.  By chance I was in the soap aisle and by chance a crossword clue that stumped me that asked for a popular five letter brand of cake soap.  Hmm, so I observed all of the labels before I decided I must have had a letter wrong in the crossword this morning.   

Nevertheless, I was making record time - then I got to the self-checkout counter.  The lines were long and rather confused (I saw folk with buggies full of food already bagged!)  I spied a short line which just so happened contained a woman who was the mother of one of #1's classmates.  She saw me and told me to go in front of her.  I refused, she insisted.  Normally I am the self-checkout master.  In no time at all I had somehow scanned two packages of cheese (when I only had one), entered that I had coupons (which I had none), was paying with a credit card (which I did not), and called for a clerk! (which I did not need, well I suppose I did need)  I apologized to the woman behind me, got the order straightened and hightailed it outta there.  

I am glad to be home.

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