Falwell Withdraws Sermon
by THEOBILLY
Published September 20, 2006
Lynchburg, VA
The preaching community is an uproar over the findings of the American Standards for Biblical Preaching Committee. The ASBPC announced yesterday that the Rev. Gerald Falwell of Lynchburg, Va did indeed fail a drug test following Sunday's sermon. This is the first case in America of a pastor using sermon-enhancing drugs to bring more souls to Christ. Dr. Buttrick, head of the ASBPC, said "I have never seen post-sermonic levels this high of homeliticose in an American pastor."
Members of Falwell's congregation could not believe the findings. Roy Underwood, a 15 year member, stated "It was one of the best sermons I've ever heard." Interestingly Mr. Underwood, by Tuesday morning, said his memory of the sermon had pretty much dissipated.
Rev. Falwell has been unavailable for comment since the findings were released this morning. Members of the congregation expect him to make an aggressive public comment this afternoon.
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