08 April 2010

Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream

While snoozing in the wee hours of the night on Tuesday I had the strangest dream: it was the Sunday after Easter and I was in the pulpit about to preach. I had prepared a humdinger of a sermon and as I started preaching everyone started nodding off to sleep, the more I preached the deeper they fell into sleep. Some people even stretched out on the pews and snored away. The terrible part was that I could not stop preaching, I wanted to but I could not. My normally 8 page sermon would not end, I would preach one page and another would appear. I kept saying in my mind this next part will stir them up, or preach a little louder and they will awake. Finally, I was able to stop, I threw my sermon on the ground and immediately everyone awoke. They were groggy but awake. After a few minutes of mumbling around the moderator stood up and chastised for such boring messages. I was mortified and speechless. At that moment I woke up in a cold sweat, the covers off of me, my pillow in the floor, and body all knotted up.

Usually, without much prodding, someone falls asleep every Sunday. I do not mind, in fact it gives me great pleasure afterwards to rib them a little. The best story I have is of an elderly woman who usually went to sleep right after the call to worship and would be out of it till the final hymn. When I announced I was leaving she performed one of the most self-less acts I have ever witnessed - she purposively moved forward to the third pew from the front so she could hear my last few sermons. Of course she only made it to the gospel reading but I still recall that as one of the most moving moments as a pastor.

1 comment:

hawk said...

I haven't had the "never ending sermon that I can't stop preaching dream" but I do have a missing vestment dream. I can't find them. The service is starting and the alb is missing and...well, you get the picture.

I'm glad you're enjoying preaching. I've started my "Will Ferrell through the summer series" (see my blog), and things are going well. Whatever it takes.