24 July 2008

Friedman cries for more support

Friedman Cries for More Support
by G. Travis Norvell
July 24, 2008

The began as any day in Manhattan, lots of cars, lots of people and lots of grumpiness - but this day witnessed an all too common new phenomena: e-whining.  At approximately 9:42am  Thomas Friedman, Op-Ed columnist of the New York Times, ran outside of the New York Times building here on Eighth Avenue wailing, crying and plainly whining like a baby.  A small crowd gathered to watch Friedman's display of childish emotion.  Finally 22 minutes later a representative from the NY Times human resource department, Richard Bellevue, was able to calm down Mr. Friedman and asked what was wrong.  Mr. Friedman started to begin the emotional display again but Mr. Bellevue was able to nip in the bud, he asked him to take some deep breaths and calm down.  After the centering moment passed Mr. Friedman revealed to all of those gathered between 40th and 41st streets that not enough people were emailing his latest article, thus leaving him once again off of the top ten most emailed list.  

As Mr. Bellevue aided Mr. Friedman to his feet, Mr. Friedman (obviously embarrassed and down right angry) looked to the crowd and screamed:  "Listen people, I write good foreign -affairs articles. Everyone of you should be emailing my articles to 15 to 20 people each day.  And one more thing, stop waiting for me to appear on Charlie Rose where I dumb down my thoughts just so you can understand what is going on in the world."  Mr. Bellevue put his hand on Mr. Friedman's shoulder and led him through the revolving door. It was reported by some witnesses Mr. Friedman mumbled something about Nicholas Kristof not being able to hold his jockstrap.  

No comments: