Christmas Tales

A few years ago I read a reference from a parishioner at Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church about the sermons in verse that the late Rev. David H.C. Read used to preach every Christmas.  This idea set off all kinds of lightbulbs in my head.

I began searching for books by Rev. Read hoping to find a reference to this idea.  I never did find one but I did find some fascinating and wonderful preaching advice.  Then I accepted the call at Judson Memorial Baptist Church and knew that if ever there was a church that could possibly halfway appreciate a sermon in verse it wasthis place.  So for the heck of it I did another search for Christmas sermons in verse by Rev. Read and guess what I found one!  I emailed the Presbyterian archives, nope. I emailed MAPC, nope.  I searched the online archives of several Presbyterian seminary libraries, nope.  Instead good ole www.abebooks.com found me a copy.  I paid more than the usual used book of sermons, but it didnt matter.

The book came and I dove in immediately.  In the beginning Rev. Read answered all of my nuts and bolts questions:  When did he do it?  The Fourth Sunday of Advent (which makes perfect sense).  How long were they?  Shorter than I suspected (which again makes perfect sense).  What were they about?  They were colorful imaginative tales (which makes even more perfect sense).  Thank you Rev. Read.

As Rev. Read said, this was one of if not the most difficult sermon of the year to write.  So I gave myself plenty of time, but as usual it was done the week of.  I even checked out several Dr. Seuss books on tape so I could have some rhyming schemes rollicking around in my head, but I never did get around to playing them.  But I've got a good base for next year.  I also picked up a rhyming dictionary (never knew a wonderful gem of a book existed!).

I chose a story about a goat (because this is the new mascot of JMBC) from the northland (I am in Minnesota after all) who rambled down to Bethlehem and visited the manger (and the source of Jesus' disdain for goats).

The sermon was difficult to write but a blast.  Next year I'll focus more on the meter - this was definitely a free meter, something like a 8, 15, 3, 7, 21... :)

with further ado:

Christmas Tales

Adven IV – 23.Dec.2012

Judson Memorial Baptist Church

Minneapolis, MN

The Rev’d G. Travis Norvell

On Christmas Eve long ago

a story took place that went like so

Gunter the goat left his homeland up north

And journeyed south in a tale told henceforth

Called Gunter’s great travel.

He wandered down to Bethlehem

And found the town of bread in much mayhem

He had heard the hay there was great

And hoped he would find a suitable mate

But there was movement in the heaven

And angels singing amen.

Gunter didn’t care, he was tired and wanted anap

Then he heard the lovely soft tap, tap

Of a scared and lonely Joseph & Mary

They needed a place and not just as a precautionary

For Mary was with child and great

And needed a bed before it was too late.

They found an inn and said okay

It aint pretty but it’s a place to stay

the man at the desk said I have no room in my inn here

You can stay in the barn if you don’t mind the smell of the animal’s rear.

Gunter wanted to say

I clean my bum three times a day

But he was a goat and goats cant speak

Unless, unless it is Christmas eve in the midwinter bleak.

Because on that night something magical took place

Mary gave birth in that lowly space

The boy she birthed was scrunched and crying

He woke up Gunter and caused the goat’s blood to go electrifying. 

Gunter lifted his head and said would you please be quiet

It is late at night and my ears are on diet.

Mary and Joseph were completely aghast

They never heard an animal speak like that.

They looked up at the goat and asked what did you say

Gunter smiled and said from now on anything but may

I’m Mary and this isJoseph and this babe is Jesus which means God saves

Gunter asked, then what are you doing in this enclave?

We’ve no place to go and no will care for us

So please Gunter dear, tell the animals, now go and discuss

Keep us safe and sound

Make this stable ironbound

You see this babe is like none other

He’ll be know as everybody’s brother

So Gunther did as he was asked

He charged the animals to guard to the last

But there was nothing to guard against or fear

Just angels singing peace and hallelujah in the atmosphere

They heavens sang peace

And the trees gazed at the new star in the east

The next morning every creature was all tuckered out

And the dreams of Mary and Joseph wondered about

When they animals awoke and tread to speak

All the could do was neigh, moo, and screech

Mary patted Gunter and gave him hay to eat

For what he did was truly great

Gunter nodded and walked outside

For he was a goat full of pride

And that is the story of Gunter the goat

The greatest goat since Noah’s boat

But why you ask did Jesus speak

of goats as so unique

why did he dislike goats and not sheep?

You see he spoke tongue in cheek

Before Gunter said his final goodbye

He trotted over to see the babe and verify

But the babe’s swaddling clothes looked to sweet

All linen and white, they were too good not to eat

So he ate those clothes that covered the child

And left Jesus cold and wild

When Jesus cried Gunter butted the bed

And the baby Jesus never forgot that greedy goats head.

So tomorrow night

when the new star is shining bright

find a goat and talk to him right

see if knows of Gunter the goat

he’ll be the main story not a footnote

then after you talk hold onto your coat

for we all know that part of the story

is about a goat full of glory

who will eat your clothes like you eat chicken cacciatore.

And the response from the congregation, "It was so bad it was good!"

Now to finalize my Christmas Eve message.  

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=David+Read&sts=t&tn=Christmas+Tales