Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream

While snoozing in the wee hours of the night on Tuesday I had the strangest dream: it was the Sunday after Easter and I was in the pulpit about to preach. I had prepared a humdinger of a sermon and as I started preaching everyone started nodding off to sleep, the more I preached the deeper they fell into sleep. Some people even stretched out on the pews and snored away. The terrible part was that I could not stop preaching, I wanted to but I could not. My normally 8 page sermon would not end, I would preach one page and another would appear. I kept saying in my mind this next part will stir them up, or preach a little louder and they will awake. Finally, I was able to stop, I threw my sermon on the ground and immediately everyone awoke. They were groggy but awake. After a few minutes of mumbling around the moderator stood up and chastised for such boring messages. I was mortified and speechless. At that moment I woke up in a cold sweat, the covers off of me, my pillow in the floor, and body all knotted up.

Usually, without much prodding, someone falls asleep every Sunday. I do not mind, in fact it gives me great pleasure afterwards to rib them a little. The best story I have is of an elderly woman who usually went to sleep right after the call to worship and would be out of it till the final hymn. When I announced I was leaving she performed one of the most self-less acts I have ever witnessed - she purposively moved forward to the third pew from the front so she could hear my last few sermons. Of course she only made it to the gospel reading but I still recall that as one of the most moving moments as a pastor.